Hey, I was SABO-ed in WFL today!!!!
Haha, no la, actually cause I was sitting in b/w Pras and Sharynon, you see. And the speaker, Brandon Kang, asked for a volunteer to answer the 3 questions he stated. And ya, you know it, they volunteered me. Lol! And we haven't even start sharing...
So yeah, after laughing for a while, I was a little nervous and was thinking, "Huh? But I don't really know how to answer all the questions leh, then somemore 1 question--I'm not sure if that qn is correct," for like a mili-second and I just thought, "Aiya, just say la."
So, I just blabbered on for 2,3 mins... And it turned out much better than I thought and I wasn't as nervous as I thought I'd be also. :D
I sort of whined that they bullied me la. But they said they help me to grow in courage to speak publicly that sort of stuff. But really, I think God used them to really train me in that la, cause under no or little preparation, I would be even MORE nervous to share and talk to a big crowd. (much more, like eh 20ppl* 10 rows--conservative estimate) But it turned out better than I thought la, so HAHA!! Thank God man! :D Whew~~!!
I think that God really wants to grow me in the area in my people-shyness and nervousness.. Yup... Should pray about this ASAP!!!!
Oh yeah, another testimony!!!!
Cause actually I was doing QT, then I knew that I have to look through the FOS book to see what I've learned to do application for QT and I did.
So, when I went back to application for my QT, it struck me that I always am unsatisfied about my circumstances and question God a lot but I never really did ask God what's the issue, so I've never really solved my issues.
Because you see, because behind every struggle or circumstance there's an issue, like insecurity etc.
So, that was my application, to identify my issues, solve it and move on!! HAHA!
Friday, December 7, 2007
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
God, let my Dad be my idol....
Regretted not blogging yesterday!! Cause it was too late and my bro was sleeping already and the comp is in the room, so actually it's ok la! :)
Share a testimony yesterday. After WFL on Monday, I found out that my unit member was going to play basketball at Bishan. I hesistated cause 1stly--travel especially down, though by bus it's only 30 mins; 2ndly--tired la, still got a lot of things to do, including QT(don't misunderstand, I sure will do one, but just that you know, tiredness VS things to do); 3rdly--Too last minute, will rack my plans again, though recently I have allowed God to mould me in being more spontaneous in taking part in last min activities. Ok anyway, I went. :D 2 reasons.
1. To fellowship with unit members, and bros and sis in Christ. God spoke to me that fellowship shouldn't be limited between unit, caregroup members. An ideal example--Acts church.
2. To be more spontaneous in things/activities I don't like--
(a)Ball games is one of them. Well, although I am sort of an athlete, BUT, I have NO BALL SENSE!!! I am slow in reflex, can break all the rules and the list goes on. WORST OF ALL, I am afraid of the BALL and gets nervous and anxious when being involved in a Sport/Activity I'm unfamiliar with or am bad at. Basketball--well, there's a BALL involved right?
(b)Relating with people. I have crowd/people-shyness. It takes A LOT for me to even ask, "What's your name?" even if they're YHope. I get nervous at this easily as well. So, natuarally, in a environment amidst many people whom I don't know--my sinful, carnal nature would be to just keep to myself.
**I become naturally nervous and anxious VERY easily.
So I went. I was very nervous that I would get lost and that I would wait for my unit member, Pras for very long. The latter happened. I prayed to have absolute trust in God that I would be able to play basketball with them but as time passed, my emotions grew above my faith.
Finally, unable to take it anymore, I was like thinking, "GOD! I don't want to be so EMO!!!! I can't help it la!!!" So there I was, sitting at the bus stop asking God to help me in my lack of control over my emotions, angry and sad that Pras hasn't contacted me. "Why don't you worship me?", God prompted. So I got up and went to J8, in hope of finding a place where I can listen to worship songs. No luck. I was about to let my emotions run high but prayed instead. I went to the toilet cause it was pretty urgent. I walked around J8 while worshipping God by thinking of a worship song instead. And guess what? I CALMED down! I no longer blamed Pras too. First time this sort of worship worked for me ha!!:D
When I went down the escalator to the 3rd floor. Pras called and asked me where I was and she gave me some instructions to meet me near J8. I was shocked and surprised for her sacrificial spirit. I was really touched by her and God. Not only did God took my emotions away, but also to further assure me by Pras's willingness and act of meeting me real nearby, and RIGHT AFTER God has taken control of my emotions.
I met Pras and she apologized and explained to me. I said, "it's ok" and wondered if I meant it. Straight after that thought, I knew the answer was yes because I no longer had emotions of being upset with her any longer.
LALALA!~~~~ Double blessing~~!:D
So, I went to play basketball. It wasn't that bad la. I touched the ball more than once(in school when I play ball games, sometimes I don't get to touch the ball at all, no kidding.) But I couldn't really talk when playing bball because my nervousness and insecurity took over even though I prayed la. It was only until we played Monkey that I really took the courage to talk more, even though it was just, "Sorry", "Oh my goodness~" when my aiming was bad, that sort of stuff. Later, when Pras came and most of us were sitting down there, I started to talk with the rest(although they took the 1st intiative).
Well, it may not have felt like a blessed day but, definitely, little things happened that aren't so little after all. :)
Today--Tuesday.
I went to see the doctor. Both God and I had been bothered by my backache and Nose bleeding for at least a week. I was especially bothered that I wasn't loving myself by taking care of my body. In obedience, I went.
Well, the doctor advised that I go to CGH to learn some exercises that would strengthen my back, and make it less prone to injuries and aches. SHOCKINGLY, he adviced me to go see the skin specialist too, regarding my ACNE condition(1st doctor to do so).
So, I was partially shocked and glad that I could finally see hope of my acne condition really improving for the rest of my life!
I have always been insecure, and definitely in how I look too. And around midnight, God spoke to me. I always knew all the crap about looks being secondary and character comes first. But, I still struggled in that issue. So, I humbled myself and told God, "God, you know I can't help being concerned about my looks and character flaws. And despite people saying all that, impressions does count after all. But Lord, regardless of my looks and flaws, fill in the gap so that people who will be looking at you through me would see Christ-likeness." And God also spoke to me that even if my face were to be acne free, maybe I'd be even more conscious of my looks in future such that a small blackhead, I would scream and wail.
When my Dad came home, I told him that I went to the doctor's. Though scared that he might scold me, saying that I waste money again. Surprisingly, he didn't. He only asked me how it is, already knowing that it is about my back condition. He was genuinely concerned for me. He didn't say much but asked me about when and where I'm going for the referred appointment. And later he just asked me how much it costed. He gave me S$100 after that. He TRUSTED me that I'll return him the remaining and asked me to return him the remaining. AND he sounded gentle through out---- COMING FROM MY DAD! Although not first time, but Suddenly it struck me once again, real hard-- the trust, concern. And for the 1st time the realization struck me--his gentleness. And God reminded me of Him being my heavenly daddy and that his care and concern for me is just... so many times more... I guess I odd to have my Dad as my idol now... YEAH!!!
Share a testimony yesterday. After WFL on Monday, I found out that my unit member was going to play basketball at Bishan. I hesistated cause 1stly--travel especially down, though by bus it's only 30 mins; 2ndly--tired la, still got a lot of things to do, including QT(don't misunderstand, I sure will do one, but just that you know, tiredness VS things to do); 3rdly--Too last minute, will rack my plans again, though recently I have allowed God to mould me in being more spontaneous in taking part in last min activities. Ok anyway, I went. :D 2 reasons.
1. To fellowship with unit members, and bros and sis in Christ. God spoke to me that fellowship shouldn't be limited between unit, caregroup members. An ideal example--Acts church.
2. To be more spontaneous in things/activities I don't like--
(a)Ball games is one of them. Well, although I am sort of an athlete, BUT, I have NO BALL SENSE!!! I am slow in reflex, can break all the rules and the list goes on. WORST OF ALL, I am afraid of the BALL and gets nervous and anxious when being involved in a Sport/Activity I'm unfamiliar with or am bad at. Basketball--well, there's a BALL involved right?
(b)Relating with people. I have crowd/people-shyness. It takes A LOT for me to even ask, "What's your name?" even if they're YHope. I get nervous at this easily as well. So, natuarally, in a environment amidst many people whom I don't know--my sinful, carnal nature would be to just keep to myself.
**I become naturally nervous and anxious VERY easily.
So I went. I was very nervous that I would get lost and that I would wait for my unit member, Pras for very long. The latter happened. I prayed to have absolute trust in God that I would be able to play basketball with them but as time passed, my emotions grew above my faith.
Finally, unable to take it anymore, I was like thinking, "GOD! I don't want to be so EMO!!!! I can't help it la!!!" So there I was, sitting at the bus stop asking God to help me in my lack of control over my emotions, angry and sad that Pras hasn't contacted me. "Why don't you worship me?", God prompted. So I got up and went to J8, in hope of finding a place where I can listen to worship songs. No luck. I was about to let my emotions run high but prayed instead. I went to the toilet cause it was pretty urgent. I walked around J8 while worshipping God by thinking of a worship song instead. And guess what? I CALMED down! I no longer blamed Pras too. First time this sort of worship worked for me ha!!:D
When I went down the escalator to the 3rd floor. Pras called and asked me where I was and she gave me some instructions to meet me near J8. I was shocked and surprised for her sacrificial spirit. I was really touched by her and God. Not only did God took my emotions away, but also to further assure me by Pras's willingness and act of meeting me real nearby, and RIGHT AFTER God has taken control of my emotions.
I met Pras and she apologized and explained to me. I said, "it's ok" and wondered if I meant it. Straight after that thought, I knew the answer was yes because I no longer had emotions of being upset with her any longer.
LALALA!~~~~ Double blessing~~!:D
So, I went to play basketball. It wasn't that bad la. I touched the ball more than once(in school when I play ball games, sometimes I don't get to touch the ball at all, no kidding.) But I couldn't really talk when playing bball because my nervousness and insecurity took over even though I prayed la. It was only until we played Monkey that I really took the courage to talk more, even though it was just, "Sorry", "Oh my goodness~" when my aiming was bad, that sort of stuff. Later, when Pras came and most of us were sitting down there, I started to talk with the rest(although they took the 1st intiative).
Well, it may not have felt like a blessed day but, definitely, little things happened that aren't so little after all. :)
Today--Tuesday.
I went to see the doctor. Both God and I had been bothered by my backache and Nose bleeding for at least a week. I was especially bothered that I wasn't loving myself by taking care of my body. In obedience, I went.
Well, the doctor advised that I go to CGH to learn some exercises that would strengthen my back, and make it less prone to injuries and aches. SHOCKINGLY, he adviced me to go see the skin specialist too, regarding my ACNE condition(1st doctor to do so).
So, I was partially shocked and glad that I could finally see hope of my acne condition really improving for the rest of my life!
I have always been insecure, and definitely in how I look too. And around midnight, God spoke to me. I always knew all the crap about looks being secondary and character comes first. But, I still struggled in that issue. So, I humbled myself and told God, "God, you know I can't help being concerned about my looks and character flaws. And despite people saying all that, impressions does count after all. But Lord, regardless of my looks and flaws, fill in the gap so that people who will be looking at you through me would see Christ-likeness." And God also spoke to me that even if my face were to be acne free, maybe I'd be even more conscious of my looks in future such that a small blackhead, I would scream and wail.
When my Dad came home, I told him that I went to the doctor's. Though scared that he might scold me, saying that I waste money again. Surprisingly, he didn't. He only asked me how it is, already knowing that it is about my back condition. He was genuinely concerned for me. He didn't say much but asked me about when and where I'm going for the referred appointment. And later he just asked me how much it costed. He gave me S$100 after that. He TRUSTED me that I'll return him the remaining and asked me to return him the remaining. AND he sounded gentle through out---- COMING FROM MY DAD! Although not first time, but Suddenly it struck me once again, real hard-- the trust, concern. And for the 1st time the realization struck me--his gentleness. And God reminded me of Him being my heavenly daddy and that his care and concern for me is just... so many times more... I guess I odd to have my Dad as my idol now... YEAH!!!
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Spiritual conversation and Testimonies
Wah today very tiring. Haha but really fun and worth it. Today went swimming with my Bro's girlfriend and God somehow intervened such that I was able to share about some Christianity sort of stuff.. I shared about my primary school's influence on me before I came to be a Christian and learned that she has certain misconceptions toward Christianity. THANK GOD! It happened so instantneously and I just felt the Holy Spirit leading me as I shared stuff to her.
Oh! We celebrated Canice's birthday too. Wah me and Pras went 3, 4 shopping malls before we found a cake for her at Bengawan Solo, Suntec!!! I was like joking to Pras, "Canice owes me big time." Haha Lol!! Then we took like close to an hour lo. AND OH!!! Thanks to Sandy and Luke too. We didn't actually know where the rest were and Sandy sort of went to fetch us!! Lol... And Luke, when me and Pras were hesitating to borrow lighter from others, he came with a lighter!! SAVIOUR!!!~~~!! LOL. And then we sang birthday song, had affirmation for Canice too. I WAS SO NERVOUS I laughed out for 1 min again la!! And I thought I recently never really laugh because of my nervousness... Ha... Ohs.. I was struggling when thinking about to affirm Canice or not la. When I finally did right, I forgot more than half of my affirmation for her los! Lol so sad right? HAHA.. But glad I affirmed her anyway.. A way of loving sisters I guess?
HAs...
AND Thank God for Pras and really thank God for his miracles in our AMAZING RACE: Quest for the Cake. WHy? WELL, read below!
Wells, I'm someone who has high resistance for uncontrolled circumstances, changes and not a risk-taker and BAD at directions!!! Lol. While Pras is like the exact opposite! Has... She's VERY GOOD at directions!!! I WAS REALLY shocked, first time I see someone so good at directions lo lol. She said that she just whacks and likes to navigate. Has. So different from me!!! But when we there travelling on our quest for the cake, we sort of comeplemented each other... Haha... sounds wrong... When she didn't really dare to ask people regarding certain things, I did. And she did the directions leading ha. I was joking that she has the gift of directions or something!! LOL! Canice! If you're reading this, what is the gift related ar? Haha! Now you know right! She's a direction-person and ability to navigate!! I KNOW!!! She can be a pirate!! HAHA...
Lol... But at Carrefour there I felt quite pissed off by the ppl working there cause I asked do they know where are the matches, then the first one gave me a weird look and then gave me the answer the other one just said, "Inside" and went oFF!!! That's not all! THEY BOTH HEARD, "mattress" and not "matches" -_-" Then I was already very tired already... So I complained for at least 15 mins lo... One of my struggles--very tired or cannot find something I want for very long will complain. But later I repented and cheered up! Thank God leh! Ohs.. while searching for the cake right, we took quite long but I felt that both of us didn't lose hope and we trusted in god remained hopeful that we would be able to find it. At first, saw many cakes in slices la, not having the appropriate min. weight of 1 kg la and the price exceeding our budget la... Then, TA-DANG!!! Pras searched using her phone for the Bengawan Solo outlet nearby cause we thought that at least budget wise should be ok la. And THERE's ONE IN SUNTEC!!! Thank God. And you know what? This is like a triple blessing. 1stly-- She changed her phone recently. 2ndly--She changed her phone plan recently also. The prev. one is 2G, the present one is 3G. The prev. one would work slower for that service and the words are smaller. (The words for the present one is already very small, so the previous one would be unreadable) Not expecting anything else(at least for me), we went there. and found a cake within our budget, chocolate-flavoured and of the appropriate sizEE!!! GOD IS SO GOOD! Well, maybe certain people out there might not think this testimony is as powerful as I describe, but God not only worked in the circumstances but also in Pras and my heart and our fellowship with each other. And I learned by expericnce today what I applied in QT yesterday through Mark1:40--- to have absolute trust in God and also going out of my comfort zone(in approaching people to ask for matches)
Well, certain people might think that approaching people to ask for or regarding something is not a big deal. But to me, it is!!! Ok? Well, I'm those type of person whom even can get nervous if I want to order food at foodcourt(although not always la). I absolutely don't like to approach people and am people-shy. As in not extremely, but as in towards strangers and not people I am close with. It takes a lot for me lo, a lot of nervousness, fear, uncertainty. But, haha, thank God too for helping me to apply the two things today.
And PRAS, BEST BUDDIES!! Lol..
Oh! We celebrated Canice's birthday too. Wah me and Pras went 3, 4 shopping malls before we found a cake for her at Bengawan Solo, Suntec!!! I was like joking to Pras, "Canice owes me big time." Haha Lol!! Then we took like close to an hour lo. AND OH!!! Thanks to Sandy and Luke too. We didn't actually know where the rest were and Sandy sort of went to fetch us!! Lol... And Luke, when me and Pras were hesitating to borrow lighter from others, he came with a lighter!! SAVIOUR!!!~~~!! LOL. And then we sang birthday song, had affirmation for Canice too. I WAS SO NERVOUS I laughed out for 1 min again la!! And I thought I recently never really laugh because of my nervousness... Ha... Ohs.. I was struggling when thinking about to affirm Canice or not la. When I finally did right, I forgot more than half of my affirmation for her los! Lol so sad right? HAHA.. But glad I affirmed her anyway.. A way of loving sisters I guess?
HAs...
AND Thank God for Pras and really thank God for his miracles in our AMAZING RACE: Quest for the Cake. WHy? WELL, read below!
Wells, I'm someone who has high resistance for uncontrolled circumstances, changes and not a risk-taker and BAD at directions!!! Lol. While Pras is like the exact opposite! Has... She's VERY GOOD at directions!!! I WAS REALLY shocked, first time I see someone so good at directions lo lol. She said that she just whacks and likes to navigate. Has. So different from me!!! But when we there travelling on our quest for the cake, we sort of comeplemented each other... Haha... sounds wrong... When she didn't really dare to ask people regarding certain things, I did. And she did the directions leading ha. I was joking that she has the gift of directions or something!! LOL! Canice! If you're reading this, what is the gift related ar? Haha! Now you know right! She's a direction-person and ability to navigate!! I KNOW!!! She can be a pirate!! HAHA...
Lol... But at Carrefour there I felt quite pissed off by the ppl working there cause I asked do they know where are the matches, then the first one gave me a weird look and then gave me the answer the other one just said, "Inside" and went oFF!!! That's not all! THEY BOTH HEARD, "mattress" and not "matches" -_-" Then I was already very tired already... So I complained for at least 15 mins lo... One of my struggles--very tired or cannot find something I want for very long will complain. But later I repented and cheered up! Thank God leh! Ohs.. while searching for the cake right, we took quite long but I felt that both of us didn't lose hope and we trusted in god remained hopeful that we would be able to find it. At first, saw many cakes in slices la, not having the appropriate min. weight of 1 kg la and the price exceeding our budget la... Then, TA-DANG!!! Pras searched using her phone for the Bengawan Solo outlet nearby cause we thought that at least budget wise should be ok la. And THERE's ONE IN SUNTEC!!! Thank God. And you know what? This is like a triple blessing. 1stly-- She changed her phone recently. 2ndly--She changed her phone plan recently also. The prev. one is 2G, the present one is 3G. The prev. one would work slower for that service and the words are smaller. (The words for the present one is already very small, so the previous one would be unreadable) Not expecting anything else(at least for me), we went there. and found a cake within our budget, chocolate-flavoured and of the appropriate sizEE!!! GOD IS SO GOOD! Well, maybe certain people out there might not think this testimony is as powerful as I describe, but God not only worked in the circumstances but also in Pras and my heart and our fellowship with each other. And I learned by expericnce today what I applied in QT yesterday through Mark1:40--- to have absolute trust in God and also going out of my comfort zone(in approaching people to ask for matches)
Well, certain people might think that approaching people to ask for or regarding something is not a big deal. But to me, it is!!! Ok? Well, I'm those type of person whom even can get nervous if I want to order food at foodcourt(although not always la). I absolutely don't like to approach people and am people-shy. As in not extremely, but as in towards strangers and not people I am close with. It takes a lot for me lo, a lot of nervousness, fear, uncertainty. But, haha, thank God too for helping me to apply the two things today.
And PRAS, BEST BUDDIES!! Lol..
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