ON again after 2 years

Randomly found my user name and password on a piece of paper (digging through old stuff).
I'll see when I will update this blog, depending on my mood.
Blah blah.

Signing off,
Jia Min aka Desiree

Miracle at Training and QT's application today

Yesterday, 30th Jan, a WED, the Long Dist team went to Singapore Botanic Gardens for training. We were required to do 6 sets of Intervals of 600m each.

To cut the long story short, my body felt chilly and my body, especially my legs were sending out signs that my legs are tired and couldn't run anymore. During the 3rd round, I stopped once and slowed down drastically, during the 4th round, I stopped 2 times and slowed down further and stopped for a longer period of time. After the 4th round, I was having chest pain. Drinking more water and breathing both didn't do any help. So I skipped the 5th round and rested.
I found out later that it was due to hyperventilation. I was too conscious of what my body and my own deceiving mind were telling me--that I cannot continue running. I also kept thinking that when the general public and the rest of the Long Dist people look at me, they must be thinking that I didn't do my best though no one said anything.
In between the rest time, I couldn't be bothered anymore, I was telling God, "God, I don't want to think of what I think of myself or how others might think of me, in terms of my running and timing. I'm just gonna do my best and even if I don't break any of my timings, I'm gonna keep a consistent pace throughout and finish it."
I started and was thinking of the worship song, "With All I am" throughout--both a distraction and a motivation. I answered the teacher unconvinced and unassuredly that I'd try to get a timing of 2 mins 46s on the teacher's question. When I came in, the teacher said, "2 mins 4...0 secs!" It was a miracle! Thank God really! And I was still having hyperventilation at that time.

I've been down for the past few days and today, Thurs, 31st Jan 08, I decided to finally settle it with God. I started with worship, read through a sermon and a book later, and praying in b/w. Finally, I've really gotten answers from God and moved on this time round. I feel more stable and 心里觉得踏实多了. God I thank you and continue to help me to apply this new thing--Being honest and daring to share my views and feelings and with my chairing script later Lord, Amen.

Fruitful day spent with many people

亲爱的神 Dear God,
Hey, I'm blogging again. Today I was out for the whole day.

Today I went back to school, thinking that there is CCA orientation open house. And guess what? There is, but my CCA's not involved! Sianzzz~~~! So, I was in the library complaining to God. I complained for 7-8 mins then nothing more to complain regarding that le(I gave myself maximum 10 mins to do so). So, I used a little more time to move on from what I complained and I felt better after that. I then went around the library looking for my CCA people I saw earlier on, cause thinking since I'm already in school, might as well talk to them and use that time to PURPOSELY get to know them la. Haha.

But I couldn't find them but saw Greta instead, a PU3 girl in one of the Science Classes. We talked and she explored my phone's functions. We also read her 8 Days Magazine together. I found out many things about her:

1. She neither takes Art nor like it though she's rather good in it
2. She's in Science class
3. She never really fantasize about those kind of Prince Charming thingy when she was young but she mentioned something about her being materialistic lol
4. She actually has a church that she doesn't go regularly due to lack of discipline to wake up
5. She's quite opened to God.
6. She's REAL serious and FOCUSED when she's reading the magazine lol

Ok la, so let's move on to what I did in church today. After leaving the library I went home, showered etc. and left for Holy Communion duty at Nexus. I was blur and took train to the City Hall side instead-_-" o_O

But because of that, I ran into Kester at the Somerset MRT station. We talked a bit and then I rushed off first for duty, I was late cause I took the wrong train ridE! Thank God for Kester, cause although he'd had soccer training earlier on, he still came for service and was earlier than that! :) :D

In b/w the travleing, from my home to school; the duration I was in school; from school back to my home and from my home to Nexus, it was rather fruitful. Though I woke up early today and made a wasted trip to school but I got more time to spend and talk to God. God used this experience to show me the advantages of getting up earlier. (I ususally wake up at 12+, 1+ on sats.)

Back to my HC duty, yup so I rushed there and me, Sandy and Karen did duty together. Joanne and two other girls came later. The first duty I didn't and couldn't really get to talk to the 2 new girls in our team(also never try a lot la, Lord, I repent!), also cause I needed to rush the HC elements for 2nd service and PM was starting!!

Came PM and service, and Emily came! Yeah! But what's a bit saddening is that during service, she told me at the Christmas service, she was pressurised when I asked her to receive Christ. Well, what can I say/do? That was what I was thinking and thought that I'd reaped the consequences in pressuring her. I was quite disturbed throughout but knew that I'd repented over it and prayed over it again cause now the consequences was before me and felt disturbed. It was only through the 2nd/3rd praisse song that I really felt my spirit uplifted and myself really praising God. Ya. By worship time, I was able to sink in God's presence and spirit as well casue it started good in praise! :D

Aloysious and Jenna didn't come for service. I don't know why. Aloysious said they'd come but neither of them turned up. Quite mindful of that but because God said to love my neighbour and not to judge others I did aexacytly that and very sure it was out of my mind.

Today's sermon super applicable! 许多神父讨论的论题，之前的前几天神、主都有先告诉我。I was like thinking, Oh man, God spoke to me many of these stuff just recently! So applicable and that made me pay even more attention to Pastor Ben. Thank God that when it just started and I was thinking it's old stuff which I already knew, I prayed over it and asked that God help me to learn new stuff from the old stuff too就是温故知新啊！God surprised me because the rest of the sermon, majority of it were new stuff.

The sermon...Wow... It's powerful and I know that God wants to grow me greatly through it as well. Pastor Ben went through 13 character factor of an Overseer and 1 skill-related factor in total. WOW. Of the 14 characteristics, I thought I'd need to grow in many of them. But I thought that "Above Reproach" and "A good reputation to non-believers" is what I need to apply most. But I still wanna pray and seek God for what is most important right now, especially since he wanna grow me in (family, CG08, MI CG08, 'A' levels, Equipping myself as a Worship leader and for CG08) many areas.

After that, went for HC duty again and we managed to finish it by 5.05pm. Super fast, like we'd barely stepped inside and then we left la! Thank God for everyone who came(all the team members, except Sandy cause she has to accompany Wendy) and it's God's plan that he sent the 2 new girls not other days BUT today. Why? Cause we've got shepherd's meet today at 6 pm!

I went for Shepherd's Meet and ate out with the PJ and MIJJ(Matthias, Yong Le, Kester, Wendy, Sandy, Me and MH) people after that. And we were able to bond, though it was quite spontaneous. I talked to Kester a little, sometimes really think don't know what to say to him, but thank God that I did try and it wasn't so bad la lol. Yong Le and I talked super a lot la, lol, cause at the KOPITIAM, we coincidentally(OR not? haha God made this happen la)sat opposite next other.

We moved on to KFC and I left soon after eating there also. I choose to eat KFC though I've still got sore throat. Lord, Pastor Ben and the church prayed for my healing during service, I believe I'll be fully healed tomorrow, Amen!

Basically, today though I wasn't able to do any revision or homework as planned but it was very fruitful cause the time I've spent was on and with people and really enjoyed it at certain times haha.

Thank God for another opportunity-filled and fruitful day.

Desiree 佳敏 上

23/01/08 and 24/01/08 Thank GOD!

23/01/08

• Talk to Aloysious about my Dad randomly

Yeah! Asked Aloysious about the condition of his Dad and stuff and I somehow started sharing about my Dad's previous stay at CGH ang SGH and he listened! Well, a breakthrough for me cause we seldom talk!

• Talked to Michele(MiMi) about IRP and if she's sick etc.

Both MiMi and I were absent from school on Tues and I realised that she was coughing and asked her if she's sick and actually informed her that for this week's IRP there are no questions, just read through the Generic Qns. Also a breakthrough cause I seldom talk to MiMi too!

• Asked Dao Yang about HW

Didn't talk much with DY but at least talked with him a bit asking about HW, I'm concerned about the interaction b/w me and my classmates, not the conversation.

Oh! And he sniggered at me or something when I said, "Hi" to Mut(don't know how to spell). Don't understand why eh, then when I asked him "Funny meh? He's my friend's friend" (More of normal tone) then he said he's reading his book. Don't understand and felt my inconfidence rising but thank God I decided to be confident because God has even given me the authority to talk crap and do what is right in His eyes! OH YEAH! :D

• Chris passed me the handout on the day I was absent

I was taken aback and surprised that Chris passed me the IRP and MOB handout for the Tues lessons that I missed. Surprisingly, Emily was absent too and that's why she didn't sms or contact me if I was going to school on that day. If I'm not wrong, this is the 1st time Chris has collected anything for me when I'm absent(cause Emily is usually the one). But Thank God for him! :)

• A little bit more confident though started today or a few days before

In many things, especially relating to others, cause I'm very insecure. And of course, in evax too!

• Confirmed atlas stuff with Michelle...

Michelle said, "Thank You" to me when I called her and asked her about the updates on the atlases! Though it's not the 1st time, but really thank God for her patience and this opportunity to draw us closer together! Amen! :D

• Buy stationary

Ohs! I bought 2 black pens, a box of small metal pins(for ythe noticrnboard) and 3 fileS! :D The files are PRETTY!!! CHARMING~~! Got solid green, yellow and white in colour, very nice!! Hao XIN QI!!~~!好心情！~~！

24/01/08

• Did evax with MH-4 in total, 2 each(RESPONSIVE!)

Actually I only brought 6 surveys in total. A bit disappointed we didn't manage to use all lo. But thank God anyway that all 4 are quite responsivE! Lol! And one guy randomly waved to MH even when MH didn't know him! Mine are 2 from the same class, I sms-ed them but one never reply. :( But the other like very responsive and outgfoing!!! (Double smiles) ME and MH-- we agreed to update each other on the progress of our contacts every Tues b/w 8-10 pm. Really true--what Matthias said-- to decide to be on fire before our hearts catch fire for God! Ya! Thank God! :D

• Talked to Aloy, Emily

Forgot what I talked to Aloy about WAHAHA. Oh! About PE! But thank God for the opportunity! And Emily--today I briefly told her sometimes I felt left out and cannot "squeeze" in their 3- way conversation(Jenna, Aloy and Em). But I was quite surprised at her reaction when she encouraged me to try to "squeeze" into the conversation cause actually sometimes when Jen and Aloy talks, she also feels left out. I'm not alone!(SURPRISE SURPRISE!)

Thank God for that and her encouragement!

• Talked to Zhen Yang

Also minor stuff la. I was saying he chiong-ed for the PE trial 2.4km for guys(ZY was holding hid spects) cause Aloy said those whom didn't pass the 1st round had to run more rounds! Ya. Then ZY explained it's because his spects are loose. And later when I was talking across the table with Michelle, he asked, "Secret ar?" Then I said, "No la, secret where will talk across like that. It's regarding our geography atlas order thingy."

• Talked to Michele, Haiyu and Suhana

Today Em and I showered in our school shower cubicles. I was able to talk a lot with Haiyu and MiMi and exchange opinions with them. Especially Haiyu--I discovered that she's quite obsessed or rather, likes a lot of Disney stuff(Mulan Body Poqder, Winne the Pooh towel and Minnie Mouse pouch or sth)

Talked a bit with MiMi and Em about NS guys and other stuff. :D

• Was able not to 发脾气at Yi Xun

Today I was irritated by him again! Cause Chris was sitting in b/w me and Em and actually told Yi xun that because he moved about, Chris couldn't sleep(YX sat in front). And Yi xun said there's two shoulders for Chris to lean on(aka mine and Em's). Wah!! Irritated la!! Cause I got reminded of how he will push and touch me from behind when I slow down or walk sometimes when exercising! But thank God that I just ignored him and didn't say anything. Em didn't either. But I could tell I was more irritated.

• Called CGH-confirmed apptmt

Oh and I finally remembered to call CGH and check the appointement dates for my SkinCare and Sports Medicine. Yup. 25th and 28th Jan as well as 14th Feb. Haha. Ya.

• MH accompanied me--shared deep stuff

Shared really deep stuff with MH. Today when we were outreaching, we were more decisive and God sent people to us! And rain and lightning risk such that more people stayed in school!(cause b4 that, the school was ALMOST deserted) And I felt closer to MH too and we spurred each other on and also shared a lot about how to evax to contacts etc.!

• Today I finally called Ivan and asked him if the witchcraft stuff was real but actually it's cause my Grandma a bit hmm.. well.. mentally not so well. Sorry for seeming bad but I don't know how to put it. I was inconfident and didn't really know how to start the converstaion but prayed b4hand that God would help me bring the message across and have the coursge to talk about it not knowing how he or ppl in his or my household will react. After I hung up, I prayed for Grandma that God would help her emotionally and especially mentally and prayed that I would be able to see more ways and opporunities to help her.

CONFIDENCE AND COURAGE to sum up yesterday and today(mini measures but went a long LONG way, as seen above)

P.S. More than anything else, really thank God for my intentional efforts in talking with my classmates and other schoolmates and thank God for the opportunities as well!

A stressful day ba

Wah Today Bu de liao(chinese)!!!
I left school at around 1 pm for my CGH appointment for my back for physiotherapy. That's not it k!!!
On the bus from my school to Bedok it took 1 hour 15 mins... ZZZZZzzzzz.... Sian! But, on the bus ride I was doing my own MOB HW that was given today-- critical thinking cum Qn regarding Location Analysis! Then I was late for my APPOINTMENT la!!! But thank God no one there scolded me and the physiotherapist there very young la!!! Looks my age!!! Haha... Lol.
Then after my therapy, I took MRT from Bedok to Raffles Place and then transit to the North-South Line to Bishan from there.
Basically throughout the day--3 words--Lessons, Appointment and Revision/planning schedule.
When I finally met Ming Hui and Hui Ying today and when we studied together, we talked a lot!!! Lol! Actually now I quite stressed from how I've spent my time today. But I managed to finish reading my Hydrology notes!!! Finally man!! (Although it's just 9 pages la lol) Yeah will be doing the mindmap later...
When I came home, shortly after I showered and prayed, I switched on the computer and did research for my MOB 8 wheels thing and now I am blogging! Haha! Oh no!!! Later still need to do Quiet Time and Hydro(Phy Geo) tutorial.... Oh!!! And continue with the MOB 8 wheels thing!!! Sian...!! I want to SLEEP!!! ARGHHH!!!! I still got dinner later...It'll turn into supper....
God, refresh me even as I do Quiet Time later, let me hear your voice Lord...
God, my prayer for the rest of today: Let me not be tired and stressed but learn to relax and be able to sleep by 1 am... Also, you know I'm tempted to play Computer Games and indulge in some brainless Entertainment, but simply do not have the time, OH LORD, help me to SURVIVE even without entertainment for today!!!! In Jesus name and I claim it by faith and from the God of endless possibilities, AMEN!!!

CG on LAST Thurs, My New Year Resolution

For last week's Caregroup, I was given I/C of games. Just a forenight before, I heard Zi Xin and the PJ ppl doing CG evaluation and I agreed(mentally) with them that their games are more creative and fun. And when it was my turn to fo Games, I thought, "Why can't our CG games be creative and fun as well?"

But, alas, I couldn't really take time off to think about my game cause only knew about it on Mon/Tues and I needed to rush my DEC 2007 holiday homework.
And I took 1 hour+ to think of my game on WED. I was still unable to finish it until Thurs, before CG, I used 1 hour+ in school to think about my game and finally it was consolidated.

And thank God that it was donE! I was so afraid that it'd be too confusing, take too long la etc. At the end of the day, I got feedback from everyone.
Here's what everyone said:

HuiYing--A bit short, maybe change to 10 rather than 5 envelopes, with 2 that contains verses

Hannah--It's alright, but a little short

Sandy-- Thought that it's good cause there were much thoughts putted into the planning and met the objectives. Improvement pt--Don't explain too much cause it makes the game confusing, rather, keep ot simple.

Ming Hui-- Not bad quite fun, got teamwork . Well Done!

Actually MH's game also was very good, I'm not kidding haha, cause it allowed impromptu sharing!!! Good point!!! Helped in bringing up the atmosphere!


Alrighty!! Let's move on to my YEAR 2008's RESOLUTION!!!(SURPRISE SURPRISE!)

1. Studies

• Action plan: Min. 1 hour revision everyday,
• from 11 pm to 12 am on Mon-Fri, sleep at lastest 1 AM on Mon-Fri,
• 8-10pm on Sat, sleep at 11 pm LATEST
• 4-7pm on Sun, sleep at 1o pm LATEST

2. God-- To have a more in-depth understanding of God's love and of Him as well a Regular QT(everyday)

Action plan:

• Mon's QT: 4.30-6.30am
• Tues-Fri's QT: 4.30-5.30 am
• Sat's QT: 8.30-9.30 am
• Sun's QT: 7.30-9 am

3. Family
Action plan:

• To have at least 1 timeslot of 3o mins each per week to know my Mom, Dad, Bro, Bro's GF and Grandma better(2 ppl per week)
• Tues and Sun-- 8-8.30pm Family time

4. Time Management
Action plan: Plan my timetable at least 1 day in advance, despite all unforeseen circumstances(Inclusive of CG, Service/PM, Fellowship and Entertainment etc.)

5. Outreach-- Goal: Bring 1 friend by end Jan and 12 in MIJ by end April
Action plan: 5 new contacts every week, 1 per day and contact on alternate days
PLAN MORE ON THURS(During CG)

6. Lose weight(1 kg)
Action plan: Exercise at least 3 times per week(Wed--Badmintion 8.30-10pm, Fri--Jog 8.30-10pm, Sun--Swimming, 10-11.45 pm), duration of 1-2 hrs per session

SABO-ed in WFL today!!!!

Hey, I was SABO-ed in WFL today!!!!
Haha, no la, actually cause I was sitting in b/w Pras and Sharynon, you see. And the speaker, Brandon Kang, asked for a volunteer to answer the 3 questions he stated. And ya, you know it, they volunteered me. Lol! And we haven't even start sharing...

So yeah, after laughing for a while, I was a little nervous and was thinking, "Huh? But I don't really know how to answer all the questions leh, then somemore 1 question--I'm not sure if that qn is correct," for like a mili-second and I just thought, "Aiya, just say la."

So, I just blabbered on for 2,3 mins... And it turned out much better than I thought and I wasn't as nervous as I thought I'd be also. :D

I sort of whined that they bullied me la. But they said they help me to grow in courage to speak publicly that sort of stuff. But really, I think God used them to really train me in that la, cause under no or little preparation, I would be even MORE nervous to share and talk to a big crowd. (much more, like eh 20ppl* 10 rows--conservative estimate) But it turned out better than I thought la, so HAHA!! Thank God man! :D Whew~~!!

I think that God really wants to grow me in the area in my people-shyness and nervousness.. Yup... Should pray about this ASAP!!!!

Oh yeah, another testimony!!!!
Cause actually I was doing QT, then I knew that I have to look through the FOS book to see what I've learned to do application for QT and I did.

So, when I went back to application for my QT, it struck me that I always am unsatisfied about my circumstances and question God a lot but I never really did ask God what's the issue, so I've never really solved my issues.
Because you see, because behind every struggle or circumstance there's an issue, like insecurity etc.

So, that was my application, to identify my issues, solve it and move on!! HAHA!